THE CORE ISSUES OF THE EARTH’S CORE

January 26, 2023 -Durt Fibo

This week began grinding to a halt with the report that the Earth’s core is slowing its rotation as it prepares to reverse course. New directions lie beneath us according to geophysicists.

However this phenomenon is not quite the revolution society dreads. Approximating for oceanic ravines and Himalayan heaps, the planet is roughly constructed of 25 miles of crust, as much as 250 miles of an upper mantle with areas of 400 miles of padding basting the upper and lower mantles, up to 1,700 miles of said lower, with an added cushion of similar depth called the “G spot” (always referred to as the “D layer” by prudish academics), and as much as 3,200 miles of a refreshing liquid outer core which allows the solid inner core to spin like a high-pressure disco ball.

So, to our relief, we can estimate that the core is almost 4,000 miles beneath our notice, but for reasons never discovered by Jules Verne, it is these days presumed to be as hot as the surface of our own sun, which would account for the peculiar odor of downward-facing human junctions.

Unlike Mercury, Venus and Mars, for example, planets with a liquid core generate magnetic fields as they revolve, and here the two together have been switching direction at random intervals of anywhere from many millions to a few thousand years, to a matter of simple decades. This leads to distinctive geological alterations, some biological reorientations, and people getting married. In point of fact, the alteration of the core’s direction can be a challenge requiring true fortitude; I can personally attest that excruciating pain is common during these reversals since the only sensible countermeasure a person can take is to wear their shoes backwards.