To: EU High Representative of the Union for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy

From: Der Koolschrank, International Psychology Department

Before engaging further in political or commercial talks with the USA, it must be kept in mind that America prides itself on being the land of perpetual adolescence. However, the current regime has some peculiarities, which are identified thusly:

The totalitarian mind is literally a paralyzed infantile psychological state. A baby would kill for a cookie if it could; the infant doesn’t comprehend a separation of self and the external world, and it would monomaniacally make the world conform to its inner desires if at all possible.

In this case, the infantile figurehead’s desires are made concrete by the fervency of a ruling army of Junior High Jackoffs nursed and abedded [sic] by Sorority Skanks devoted to viciousness.

Behind those psychosocial embodiments is the collective might of the moneyed class, which is actually a reversion to the anal stage of infantilism, wherein the subjects revere their feces and horde it, often violently.

Please proceed with this report in mind and understand it is futile to plan in any adult manner.